Tool vulture, avoiding the NPCs and rice or wrong
Dear Rachel,
Tell me this isn’t freaking weird. My brother has a neighbor who is about to go into assisted living. The neighbor (in good mental health) told my brother to come get whatever tools and supplies he wanted, because the family was just going to give it all away. So now my bro is sending me pics of this other dude’s garage stuff asking me what I want. It feels like being such a vulture. But also I could use tools. Is this weird?
– The Tool Man
Dear Tim Taylor,
Every person in this chain of events is being very kind, in your telling of it. But too much kindness weirds me the eff out. It’s like Stepfording and Sunday Schooling all at once, and I just want to nope out. If it were me, I’d take no part in these vulturing shenanigans. Unless the neighbor’s got a reciprocating saw. You can always use a reciprocating saw.
– In safety goggles, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
I’m about to visit home (far far away) for the first time in many years. I get 10 days there. I tried to keep my visit low-key, but my parents are blabbermouths, and now I have every NPC from my past trying to get together. It would be fun but no one understands that 10 days is not that long when you’re going home for other reasons. What’s a good way to say “thanks but no thanks?”
– Homeward Bound
Dear Booked Up,
If you can swing a one-and-done, you set up a big open house. “I’ll be at Chuck E. Cheese from noon to 3 on Thursday, come by if you can, I’d love to see you and please bring good presents!” Except pick a place with real food and probably some booze and an exit strategy out the back door when your time is up, because no one understands your limitations but you.
– Hasta la vista, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
What’s this I’m learning about rice being dangerous as leftovers. I guess it killed a guy not too long ago? I always have leftover rice and the microwave kills things anyway. Now I’m wondering if I’m living dangerously. Rice, to fridge or not to fridge?
– Living on the Edge
Dear Living on a Prayer,
Let me preface everything I’m about to say with I AM NOT A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL IN ANY FIELD AND THIS SHOULD NOT BE CONSTRUED AS LEGAL OR ANY OTHER REASONABLE ADVICE. But I think so long as the rice has met food safety requirements, and you’re not plucking it from your brother’s neighbor’s fridge like a vulture, you’re likely gonna be just fine.
– Buen provecho, Rachel
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