Unchained, paying it forward and missing link

Dear Rachel,
My kid is a cyclist. For the last decade or so, we’ve done the whole Iron Horse shebang over Memorial Day. Well now my kid has moved out and moved on, and so I’m realizing that I have the holiday weekend to myself for the first time since the Obama administration. Where should I go? Get the hell out of Dodge? Or hit up some local spot that everyone else ignores?
- Freewheeling
Dear Unchained,
Taking off the training wheels. Alright! Time for you to cut loose and let go of those handlebars. Cut your… gear teeth?... OK, the bicycle metaphors are running thin. But I celebrate you and your newfound childlessness. What freedom. What liberty! I recommend going somewhere, anywhere, where no one will ask you about your kids, or your lack of grandkids. Like a silent retreat in Tibet or something.
– Shhh, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
One of my do-gooder friends is always telling me I should pay in cash at local businesses. They get to keep more money (no credit card fees) and this helps keep prices down. But this ignores the fact that I am broke and most of my purchases go on the credit card for Future Me to pay off. It’s credit card now, or nothing. How do I clam her up so I can enjoy my local latte in peace?
– Card-Carrying Member
Dear Charge Account,
I know, I KNOW, cash is better for the little people. Mostly because it helps them evade paying taxes. But cards are just so damn easy to use. Me, I’m going to spend much, much more money with a card than when I pay with cash. Cash still makes me feel like a babysitting 14-year-old. I worked hard for that! Card is like, wheeee I’m metropolitan, spending big because I can, and I mean, they haven’t shut down my card yet, so they must like my accumulating late fees.
– Credit where it’s due, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
How and why do I get so many LinkedIn invites? Especially because never have I ever had a LinkedIn. I’ve never gone to their website, I don’t have a network of professionals, and that is not where I need to go to connect with other seasonal outdoor job providers. It’s enough to make me want to cancel the Yahoo account I’ve had since middle school.
– LinkedOut
Dear Missing Link,
Easy: You have an email address. Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL, doesn’t matter. The moment you have an email address, you’re added to a great registry of possible network connections in some deep underground ice cave meant to keep the LinkedIn servers cool and collected. It’s compulsory, like signing up for the Selective Service (yay for being assigned female at birth) or total strangers assuming you either must have kids or must be desperately trying for them (boo for same). That’s a whole other kind of LinkedIn, though.
– Unprofessionally, Rachel
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