Untucked trends, bathtub Bordeaux & pet names

Dear Rachel,

Most women do not wear a tie. Men do, but why? Now the trend is called “untuck it for shirts.” What a great fashion idea. So no knots for men and women. The open collar look for all. Your thoughts from a fashion lady.

– Knot Head

Dear Tangled,

I don’t know any fashion ladies to get thoughts from. So here are some of mine: I’m wondering if something came untied in your mind when you wrote this down. I have literally never heard of a trend called “untuck it for shirts,” nor is untucking new, nor is the open collar look. It’s at least as old as Indiana Jones, possibly predating even him. Most men do not wear pantyhose either, so you tell me, what is the deal with that?

– Always snagged, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

When I was growing up in the ‘50-‘60s, we Italians made our own hula hoops. We took old wine barrel metal rings Nona and Pa Pa gave us after the wine barrels got old. Nona did not like us using them for hula hoops because of rust on the T-shirts. Then holy moly, plastic hula hoops. Why don’t the kids today have fun with them? Is it because they can’t use a smart phone or text at the same time, or is it just boring for them? But they’ll pay for a trainer later in life to do the same thing. Da da da. Homemade wine great.

– Hoop De Do

Dear Hoopie,

Homemade wine also make you go blind. Maybe it also cures your tetanus. Who knows? I’ve never made wine in my bathtub. I haven’t made much of anything in my bathtub, except some rings, but not the kind you could hula hoop with. I have made bubbles, though. And I did it without a smartphone. Proof that me and my generation are still human, even though we have proven shockingly adaptable to the technologies that you boomers first foisted on us.

– Free with in-app ads, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

What’s it take to get a cool nickname? It seems like it won’t stick if you just start giving it to yourself. I mean, did Dwayne Johnson start calling himself The Rock? I doubt it. But what a great name. Since it’s taken, I am wondering what I need for someone to start calling me Brick, or Big Rig, or something solid and manly like that. Do you have any pull on these sorts of things? 

– Studs Granite

Dear Cinder Block,

You don’t ask for a nickname. If you do, you won’t like the ones you’re going to get. It’s like hiring the whole community to roast you, but without the black-tie dinner. Trust me, Squirt. By the time we’re done with you, you’re going to yearn for someone to call you by your awful middle name given to you by awful parents. Or you’ll wish you were named after the dog, even if the dog was named for a state.

– You can call me Al, Rachel