Vaxx-giving, flipping the bird and working the streets

 

Dear Angry as Heck,
It’s possible that I’ve been influenced by the Star Trek movie marathon I undertook on my own booster-shot sick day, but I think we’ve made too many compromises already. Too many retreats. They invade our space and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here. This far, no further! If that means the end of Christmas then so be it. We must make them pay for what they’ve done.
– Live long, Rachel

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Dear Rachel,
I’m going to a friends-giving this weekend. The friend hosting is one of those vegans-in-name-only, who will eat eggs and bacon if you hand it to her but has told us all to prepare “bird food only” for our potluck contributions. I know what she means, but I’m feeling really petty, and I want to bring food made largely of birds (instead of food consumable by birds). Considering this may be a friend I don’t want to keep anyway, is it better to announce my bird-word-play when I walk in the door or after she’s eaten it?
– Bird is the Word

Dear Birdseed of Doubt,
I approve of your intentions of misinterpreting her words, but I’d take it to the other extreme. She wants bird food? Make bird food. Slather pine cones in peanut butter and roll them in sunflower seeds with the shells on. Bring a bottle of sugar water with a fake plastic flower on top. Although, as I say all this, I am realizing that some birds eat other birds. So yeah, stuff some duck in that pine cone. Go big, then go home.
– Giving the bird, Rachel

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Dear Rachel,
With all the street construction going on in Durango I have a question you may be able to solve. I only see signs that say men at work. Why not people at work or people working? Equal work, equal pay, equal signage. I know women work on the streets of Durango. But I only see a sign with a person with a shovel. You go girl.
– Dusty Roades

Dear Dirty Wheys,
Star Trek has a pretty great vision of the future. We’ve moved beyond money and racial discrimination. So when Star Trek shows women in charge being called “sir,” and even the rebooted women wear standard-issue uniforms that wouldn’t pass my high school’s dress code, it makes me think that male must really be the default standard for humanity. That, or “men at work” takes fewer stencil letters than “people at work.” Or, maybe men can’t spell “people.” That’s possible too.
– Woman at leisure, Rachel