Walk this way, flush test and Mr. Clean

Dear Rachel,

When pedestrians walk a road that lacks a sidewalk, what side of the road are they supposed to be on? I was always taught that you were to travel on the left side of the street so that you could see and react to oncoming traffic. However, I notice in my rural neighborhood that more than half the folks mosey on the right-hand side. Is there a law regarding this or is it just good sense?  

– Curious not Judgmental

Dear Totally Judgmental,

I ain’t a lawyer, and it’s questionable whether I have good sense, so I can say with zero authority on either side of the street that I would rather stare down the butthole about to run me over, in hopes that my death glare would burn itself on their retinas and haunt their sleep, than get clipped on the backside and go down without issuing a single nasty look. Plus, if you walk on the right side, how are you supposed to offer those folksy waves to oncoming drivers? I always like seeing how many fingers they lift off the steering wheel to wave back, and which finger I get.

– In the gutter, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I have a friend who lives in Edgemont. He saw the Metro flushing the fire hydrants and checking the hydrants to make sure they work. He found they do it two times a year. I don’t see the city of Durango do it. What’s up? Why not and how many hydrants do they have? I think you would want one to work if you need it. Flushing is not “when its yellow, let it mellow and if brown flush it down”… it’s the fire hydrant in front of your home. 

– Drip Stick

Dear Dip Slick,

Flushing is very much both of those things, and frankly, if it’s an either/or proposition, I’m choosing a functioning toilet. Every time. Sure, I might need a functioning hydrant once in my life. But I bet the people who hit hydrants in the snow, thinking those tall poles are attached to a kid’s bicycle, do so often enough to count for regular hydrant testing. 

– A royal flush, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I hate cleaning, and I’m generally skeptical of any magical cleaning product. I figure it’s just some chemical that will chew through grease and grime and also my skin and my countertop. But my bro-in-law (a dude who cleans!) told me about these magic erasers. No chemicals, just add water, and you can clean anything. By god he’s right. They ARE magic. I have no question for you. I just want to evangelize the crap out of these things. 

– Magically Erasered

Dear Wiped Clean,

If they’re truly magic, then they can take care of all sorts of problems. Like, if you hit a pedestrian on the right side of the road, you’d be able to clean the pedestrian parts off the bumper of your car before you get caught. Does that work? And, can it clean Drip Stick’s toilet that doesn’t get flushed the majority of the time?

– A clean slate, Rachel