Remembering the funniest pizza guy Durango has ever known

Pizza in Durango will never be the same. On June 26, longtime local Corey Kitch passed away from what his wife, Lynn, called a three-year “war” with pancreatic cancer.

For those who may not know, Kitch founded Homeslice Pizza on College Drive back in 2002. Not only did Kitch bring delicious, cheesy, crusty goodness to thousands of jonesing Durangoans, he also brought an amazing sense of humor and was quick to have a cold Ska waiting for you while your pie cooked.

Kitch was also one of the first advertisers in this fair paper when there were few; a man who wasn’t afraid to step up and take a chance on a couple of scrappy, smartass writers with a dream. We’ll never be able to thank him enough for his support and pile of pies he served up for our 10th anniversary party at Moe’s, which saved many a reveler from the dreaded “liquid dinner.”

Kitch also was a regular contributor to our dearly departed “Ask the Diver” advice column, bringing an unrivaled level of belly laughs, wit and quirkiness (which is saying a lot).

A memorial for Kitch is being planned for July 28. In the meantime, enjoy some of Kitch’s sage advice.

 

Dear Diver,
Who’s the marketing genius responsible for bringing us “Fall for Downtown Durango,” “Holidazzle” and “Spring it On” shopping promotions? I’m all for promoting town, but these hyped shopping mall slogans are degrading.
– Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Marketing genius is absolutely correct!! First and foremost, you have to change your point of view, don’t think shopping mall and don’t even think “hip,” but rather, “hip hop.” That’s right, my little marketing neophyte. I think you know where this is going. It was snoop d-o-double g, and of course Uncle Bootsy. I know you have let them funk you in your ear-hole, who hasn’t? Uncle Bootsy (formerly of the P-Funk All Stars) said why be satisfied with hip, when you can funk it up, actually it was funk, funk, funk it up. He said let’s tear the roof off the mother sucker. Snoop said “yo G, I’m steppin’ in the hooptie goin’ to d-town for some holidazzle my nizzle,” and that was it, it pretty much stuck after that. Maybe now you will realize how hip hop this town actually is and will stop asking stupid funking questions.
–In funk we thrust, Diver

 

Dear Diver,
What’s really going on at Scoot `n Blues? I saw the claims that “big name” entertainment and new management is on the horizon. All I know is they owe a bunch of my friends dough and haven’t had the “mess of fried clams” on the menu in months. What’s up?
– Danny Boy
Dear Danny Boy,
How truly poignant your name is. You see, Scoot ’n Blues has been masquerading as this run-of-the-mill biker/karaoke/cougar hunting ground/burger joint/Irish/blues bar. And I must say that I was completely fooled at first. I mean, it was such a concise image. However, “Danny Boy,” the pipes, the pipes are playing, because the whole joint is a front for the Irish mob. Your friends are lucky that all they lost were a few “clams.” They could have had their “Mahone Pogued,” and we all know how painful that can be. I know it’s totally depressing, but don’t worry, you can still pick up Milfs at Joels. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
– Diver