3-2-1, blast off!

Don’t freak out, The Durango Telegraph will not publish next week.

What are we going off to do, you ask? Are we trying out for the next season of “Naked & Afraid,” deep in the jungle, battling the elements as well as gymnophobia? Close. Are we headed for a week of binge-drin – I mean binge geology – at the 67th annual Four Corners Gem & Mineral Show? We wish. Or did we get selected to come aboard the next Jeff Bezos rocket launch to take a quick tour of outer space? 

Yep, you actually got it.

In an unforeseen, shell-shocking move, the Telegraph staff has been chosen to go where no man… ah wait, that’s not right... to go where about 550 people have previously gone before, into the outer rims of our planet. Apparently the man who has the power and financial wherewithal to solve world hunger, yet instead chooses to take joy rides far up and away from Earth and its problems, has chosen the Telegraph to be the official paper of record for the cosmos. We’re excited, but also not looking forward to the lack of bathroom breaks.

So alas, we won’t publish next week. Being in space, we won’t have internet or cell service, so sorry, don’t call or email, we can’t hear you. Hopefully, when we come back for the Aug. 19 issue, we’ll have whole new perspectives on how to solve climate change and address workforce shortages, or whether we should just abandon the whole planet and live on one of Bezos’ floating space colonies.

See you in two weeks.