Another "slur"vey

Three women walk into a bar.
No, it’s not the lead-in to a bad joke. It’s the scenario from Budweiser’s latest “Beerpressions” survey on how what you drink influences those all-important first encounters. Here’s the punchline: if you want to reel ’em in, according to the folks at Bud, go for the frosty brew.

The American yellow beer giant recently conducted a survey of 2,000 Americans of drinking age and asked respondents to match common bar drinks with the perceived personalities of the people drinking them.

Here’s what you drink may say about you:
- Domestic Beer – 70 percent believe a woman drinking domestic beer is "friendly" and "low-maintenance” whereas 59 percent believe a man swilling the low-octane seems "authentic" and "genuine."

- Imported Beer – 36 percent believe a woman drinking imported beer is "low-maintenance,” however 27 percent believe a man drinking imported beer seems like "he's trying to be cool" and is "a bit insecure."

- Wine – 31 percent believe a woman drinking wine seems "predictable" and "cautious” while 52 percent believe a man drinking wine seems more "serious" and "reserved."

- Champagne – 57 percent believe a woman drinking champagne seems "high-maintenance" with "expensive taste” while 41 percent believe a man drinking champagne is "sophisticated" and "demanding."

- Margarita – 50 percent believe a woman drinking a margarita is "energetic" and "outgoing" although "a bit shallow" whereas 41 percent believe a man drinking a margarita is "fun-loving" and a "bit of a lightweight."

- Cosmopolitan – 48 percent believe a woman drinking a cosmo seems like she's "trying to be trendy and fashionable" while 40 percent found a man drinking a cosmo to be "fancy" and "not particularly manly."

- Gin & Tonic – 22 percent believe a woman drinking gin & tonic seems "predictable" and "cautious" while 30 percent believe a man drinking one is "analytical" and "a bit calculating."

An impromptu survey at Telegraph HQ found that, given enough of any of the aforementioned drinks, anyone can seem interesting and attractive. Unless, of course, there’s a little umbrella sticking out, in which case you’ve likely stumbled into a TGIFriday’s and should immediately bolt for the door.

We also noticed a “craft beer” category was conspicuously absent from the Bud survey. But 99 percent of our respondents associated a good IPA or stout with the likelihood of flannels, beards and getting schnockered.

Drink wisely, friends.