Being frank

So, in case you can’t tell by this week’s cover photo, the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile (one word) is in town. And while we honestly can’t remember the last time we had a wiener (it’s been a long time), there are plenty of options for residents to get a taste of wiener life this weekend.

In fact, we have the full schedule of hot wiener action, which Wienermobile driver Aioli Anna actually e-mailed to us personally. Which pretty much means we’ve finally made it as a credible news source.

“The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile is hauling buns to the Durango area this week!” Aioli wrote. Calling herself a “hotdogger,” Aioli drives the 27-foot-long hotdog on wheels with co-pilot, BBQBrady. 

Which of course begs the question (two really). First: aioli and BBQ on hot dogs? We’re pretty sure people have been strung up by their onions for lesser offenses. And secondly – and more importantly – how do we get that job?

Well, we may never be allowed to drive the big wiener (just like the Zamboni) but there are lots of opportunities to ketchup (get it?) on its “meat and greet” tour de Four Corners:

• Thurs., March 14, Durango Walmart, 12 noon-5 p.m.

• Fri., March 15, Walmart, E. Main St., Farmington, 11 a.m.-2 p.m. 

• Fri., March 15, Walmart, W. Main St., Farmington, 3-6 p.m.

• Sat., March 16, St. Patrick's Day Parade, St. Patrick's Episcopal Church, Pagosa Springs, 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

“We would love to ‘meat’ you to chat about life on the road, take a photo in front of the ‘bun’-derfully unique hotdog on wheels and give you a tour of the vehicle,” said Aioli. While there was no mention of free hot dogs, she did mention that fans get a special weenie whistle to "relish." 

The local Wienermobile is one of six that continually tours the country. And we can all consider ourselves lucky dogs – this appears to be the farthest west the Wienermobile has and will venture for the foreseeable future. Track the Wienermobile’s whereabouts here: khcmobiletour.com/wienermobile.

And given this week’s weather forecast, we sure hope it has four-wheel drive and heat so they don’t freeze their buns off and become a chilly dog.