Get your excuses ready

Now that winter has loosened its death grip on Southwest Colorado (we think… for now), that can mean only one thing: spring cleanup time.

Believe it or not, historians are at odds on the origins of how spring cleaning came to be. Some say it traces back to the Persian New Year, which falls on the first day of spring, when people practice “shaneh tekani,” translated to “shaking the house” – where everything in the house is cleaned. Other researchers believe it’s attributed to the ancient Jewish practice of cleansing the home in anticipation of Passover (thanks internet!).

Either way, spring cleaning has now become a ritual in which dads across America prepare for months their best excuses to get out of cleaning. If you need a few, feel free to borrow these:

• Need to spend time with the kids (wink, wink).

• I have to work late (i.e. go to the bar and argue with friends over sports).

• I’ll be able to better focus and clean once we get this whole Trump/hush money thing sorted out.

If all else fails, and you get sucked into cleaning, feel free to use this life hack via The Onion: “For fresh, disinfected air, pour Lysol into the humidifier.” Exactly – make the house feel clean, without any of the actual cleaning.

Thankfully, the City of Durango is here to help out with its annual Spring Cleanup, which is a great (and free) way to get rid of unwanted household items. Pickups run until May 5, but for a full lineup of when spring cleanup comes to your neighborhood, it’s best to visit the City of Durango’s website at DurangoGov.org/CleanUp.

Accepted materials include furniture, mattresses, large appliances (except fridges and air conditioning units), scrap metal, drywall, carpeting, tiles, open and dried paint cans, fencing and lumber, small tree trimmings and branches, and bagged/boxed loose brush and leaves. The city asks you separate items into piles.

Items not accepted include tree stumps, concrete, bricks, electronics, batteries, liquid paint, tires and hazardous waste. Also, the cleanup is meant for taxpayers within Durango city limits, so dumping is not allowed (and can result in a fine up to $1,000).

See you out there (but hopefully not).