Numb nuts?

Tired of saddle sores and chamois chafe? Well, settle in, because we’re about to have a really uncomfortable conversation. About bike seats.

“We’ve all been there. The unmistakable allure of the open road or trail, the rush of the wind against our faces, and that persistent, nagging discomfort down below. It’s an age-old grievance, the universal problem of the traditional bike seat.”

So reads the opening salvo in a press release from “revolutionary” bike seat maker VSEAT. The idea for the noseless seat (sort of an inverted plastic catcher’s mitt) was the idea of VSEAT co-founders Ani Armstrong and her personal trainer, Bryan Visintin. According to VSEAT, the search for a comfier, coochie-friendly seat began when Ani, whose dreams of “weekend rides along a sun-kissed beach path” in California were crushed, literally. Down there. 

Bryan, who had championed cycling for its health benefits, found himself facing a conundrum: How to encourage someone to ride when their lady (and man) parts feel like ground meat. Coincidentally this is something most Durangoans face every spring, but we just ride through it till “things get toughened up.”

However, according to VSEAT, this may not be the best thing. After a bit of probing (their word, not ours), the two found multiple tales and evidence of health issues stemming from traditional saddles, including genital desensitization (wait, it’s not called “toughening up?”)

After not finding anything suitable on the market, they decided to make their own seat, “a testament to innovation, passion and an unwavering commitment to ensuring every cyclist enjoys the ride, pain-free.”

According to the company, the $119 VSEAT eliminates pressure on sensitive areas thanks to an ergonomic design that distributes weight onto supportive sit bones, not soft tissue. If also claims to promote healthy blood flow and reduce pressure points leading to a pain- and numb-free cycling experience of “long, exhilarating rides where your focus is on the scenery, not discomfort.”

Now if they could just do something about the painful lungs and legs.