Pushing up shrooms

With Memorial Day upon us, perhaps there’s no better time to broach the uncomfortable but necessary subject of one of life’s certainties. No, not taxes: death.

OK, now that we’ve sufficiently killed everyone’s buzz, here’s the good news. These days, there’s lots more options than the pine box or glossy, satin-lined Cadillac casket.

According to a survey by Choice Mutual, which specializes in funeral insurance, more Americans are ditching coffins in favor of green burials for their post-mortem journey.

A green burial skips traditional resource-intensive embalming, cremation or burial, instead using biodegradable caskets or shrouds, tree pods, coral reefs, space burials and mushroom suits. Yes, mushroom suits (more on that in a sec.)

Beyond eco-friendliness, another advantage is cost. The typical traditional funeral/burial can run upwards of $12,000 when accounting for  casket, fees, gravesite and preparation, headstones, and ceremonies.

So without further ado – after all, life is short – here are the top “green” burial methods among Americans:

• Green burial - Biodegradable casket allows body to decompose naturally without harming the environment.

• Natural organic reduction (human composting) - The body is placed with organic materials like wood chips and straw. Over several weeks, it decomposes into nutrient-rich soil, which, in turn, can be used on things like vegetable gardens. Best not to think too hard about this.

• Tree pod burial - The body is placed in a biodegradable pod that is buried in the ground. A tree is planted above the pod, and as the body decomposes, it nourishes the tree.

• Memorial reef – Remains are mixed with an environmentally safe cement, providing an artificial reef habitat for marine life. Best for lovers of “Nemo.”

• Mushroom suit – The body is covered in a biodegradable shroud embedded with mushroom spores. The mushrooms decompose the body and neutralize toxins. After all the mushrooms you’ve ingested, it’s only fair they get to eat you for a change.

• Aquamation - Water and lye are used to break down the body. Uses less energy and releases fewer emissions than regular cremation.

• Space burial - An avant-garde choice that involves sending ashes into orbit. Since it involves rocket fuel and only adds to the space junk problem, we’re not so sure this is so sustainable, though. And who wants to spend the rest of eternity with Elon Musk?