Stuff

You may not know it, but Aug. 4, 2018, is a day that lives in infamy.

On that day, in Augsburg, Germany, André Ortolf set out to accomplish a feat that would set him apart from his fellow man: eating a watermelon really fast.

More specifically, according to the Guinness World Records: “The attempt was done on a children’s holiday camp to show how records are attempted.” Alright…?

Little did Ortolf know he would be making the history books, because he downed a 1.5 pound watermelon in just 30 seconds. His title still stands today, according to Guinness.

However, his title could be in jeopardy with the first annual 4th of July Watermelon Eating Contest at 11th St. Station this Saturday (see what we did there?).

Carmen Drulis, manager of 11th St. Station, said she was thinking of an event that would be fun for all ages and landed on the watermelon eating contest. Last weekend, she had 11th St. Station’s owners and some staff give it a practice run.

“It definitely was harder than I thought it would be for them,” she said. “I didn’t personally do it. I found my way out of that.”

At 4 p.m. on Saturday, there will be three age categories: 6 and under, 7 to 15, and 16 and older. Contestants will go head to head trying to eat one watermelon the fastest, then advance to the next round. Prizes await for first and second places.

How many watermelons does one buy for a watermelon eating contest? “That’s my project today,” Drulis said Wednesday.

We tried to Google “strategies for winning a watermelon-eating contest” but didn’t find much, other than some tutorials on a website called TikTok. Another website recommends “don’t choke,” so do what you will with that information.

Regardless, if you’re up for it, go on down to 11th St. Station on Saturday and try to unseat Ortolf. (Ortolf, it appears, has an affinity for setting strange world records, also holding the title for furthest distance to blow a pea as well as fastest 100-meter race in both clogs and ski boots.)

Oh, and no need to bring your own puke buckets – Drulis said those would be provided. And whatever you do, don’t eat the seeds. You don’t want a watermelon growing in your stomach.