Tele time machine

Oh, a lot can change in 20 years, but some things continue to ring eternally true. Of course, we here at the Telegraph are feeling a little nostalgic on our 20th birthday, and we’ve been looking back at some of our very first issues. Which brought us to, of course, our very first Pole on Aug. 22, 2002.

Was it about the infamous No Child Left Behind Act? Ben Affleck being named People’s Sexiest Man Alive? Michael Jackson hanging his baby out of the balcony window of his hotel room? Or how much we were jamming on Nickelback’s, “How You Remind Me”? 

Mmm, no. Instead we decided to tackle how to put an end to sandal stank. From our very own co-founder Will Sands: 

“Summer is the season of weddings, sweet summer evenings and unfortunately the acrid smell of sport sandals. Around every corner, you find yourself assaulted by birkenstink, chacostench and the all too familiar tevabelch. Following are some techniques for taming these beasts.”

 And hey, why not – here are the tips, which still be of help today:

 • Soak your stinkers for 15 minutes a day in a small tub filled with warm water and a half a cup of baking soda.

• Give your sandals a bath in bleach and water overnight once per week.

• Unless you have an ethical dilemma, apply antiperspirant to your feet.

• Use anti-bacterial soap, morning, noon and night would be wise, particularly in dark crevices.

• If all else fails, toss the culprits in the dumpster and return to the realm of the closed toe.

Twenty years later, we’re happy to still be providing you essential life hacks, whether it’s how not to get pulled over after spilling chicken nuggets all over yourself while driving, reminding you to not set toilet paper on fire after you have, you know, relieved yourself in the woods, or advising against taking the D&SNG as a commuter train between Durango and Silverton. (All real things, just within the past few months, we needed to address not out of our own imagination, but out of necessity).

And, as an added bonus birthday treat for our readers, here’s the first ever Ear to the Ground:

Q: “How do they get their hair to do that?”

A: “They don’t comb it.”

Q: “What about bathing? Do they bathe?”

A: “They don’t do that either.”

– Interchange between a visiting couple and a local waitress regarding the art of the dreadlock

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It appears no wolves will be released in the Weminuche Wilderness – as was previously reported – but that’s not to say the four-legged critters won’t wander down here.

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Apparently, it’s ground-breaking season in Durango.

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