The (not so) great outdoors

In case you needed another reason not to believe everything you read on the internet, North Carolina artist Amber Share has a few more – 62 to be exact.

Share, an avid lover of typography and the outdoors, recently combined her passions for a satirical project called “Subpar Parks.” The idea came from one-star Yelp reviews of our country’s national treasures, which are darkly hilarious in a “we’re-all-doomed” sort of way.

“Nothing could be seen because of the fog so it was a bit disappointing,” read a one-star Yelp review of Olympic National Park.

Then there’s this one from a visitor to Crater Lake National Park: “There are mosquitos everywhere and I can get a larger portion of food from Olive Garden for the same price. Hard pass. Restock your beer more frequently, we bought you out in 3 days.”

“Nothing specific to do,” one reviewer said of the Great Smoky Mountains NP, apparently missing the whole point.

“It’s so hard for me to even pretend to be mean about the Grand Canyon,” Share told Adventure Journal, which has compiled a list of disgruntled national park Yelp reviews on its website. “I mean, I think the biggest thing is, it’s too hard to look at. Like, ‘There’s too much to see.’ That would be my fake bad review.”

Share lives in Raleigh, N.C. with her husband, Taylor, and cat, Suki. When not creating for clients, she’s backpacking, brewing kombucha or working on passion projects, like Subpar Parks, she writes on her website.

A few of our favorites:

• “Save yourself some money, boil some water at home.” (Yellowstone)

• “Looks nothing like the license plate.” (Arches)

• “A hole. A very, very large hole.” (Grand Canyon)

• “No cell service and terrible wi-fi.” (Isle Royale)

• “OK if you like cactus.” (Saguaro)

• “The only thing to do here is walk around the desert.” (Joshua Tree)

• “Somewhat bland.” (Capitol Reef)

• “Very, very, very, muddy. A lot of mud.” (Cuyahoga Valley)

• “There are bugs, and they will bite you on your face.” (Sequoia/ Kings Canyon)

• “Just something to look at and leave.” (Crater Lake)

To see all of her “posters,” check out “Subpar Parks” on Instagram or go to www.ambershare

design.com.

The Pole

Short legs, big party: 05/28/2026; On most days, Tracy Harwood spends her time as a court clerk for the City of Durango. But next Thurs., June 4 – International Corgi Day – she hopes to bring something entirely different to town: short legs, wiggly butts and oversized personalities.

River cowboy: 05/21/2026; It’s a mash-up made in Westernwear heaven. Sort of. Seems Chaco, the purveyor of the iconic strappy dirtbag river rat footwear, has joined forces with Wrangler, as in tight jeans, big belt buckles, bull riding and snap shirt fame.

Making plans: 05/14/2026; Wondering what’s up with the old 9-R Admin building at the end of E. 2nd Avenue that was going to be a fire department, then wasn’t going to be a fire department and is now going to be City Hall and the Police Department?The City of Durango will demystify plans for the historic building during a public session Wed., May 20, 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Durango Recreation Center.

Going for the gold: 04/30/2026; Turns out, blondes do have more fun, or at least they get more awards. Last week, Ska Brewing won the gold medal for its True Blonde Ale in the English-Style Pale Ale category at the 2026 World Beer Cup. This is the third win for the Blonde at the World Beer Cup, held in Philadelphia on April 22 and pegged as one of the world’s most prestigious beer competitions.

Read All Stories in the Pole

The (not so) great outdoors

Top Stories

The Pole