The Tellu ride

The Telluride, on location in ... California.

Durango has one, so does Tahoe, Santa Fe, Sedona and Tucson. And now, Telluride has joined the rarified ranks of mountainy towns with SUVs named after them.

Astute viewers of the Super Bowl who managed to stay awake during the commercials, may have noticed a spot for South Korean-based Kia Motors. The one-minute, 40-second commercial featured the Cinderella story of Kia’s Georgia plant, as narrated by a boy, meant to tug at the heartstrings. But naturally, Telluride locals were aghast when the 291-horsepower, eight-passenger, 2.2-ton Kia “Telluride” was trotted out.

“That was gross,” quipped one local on Facebook, according to the Telluride Daily Planet.

“That sucked” chimed in another.

Opined yet one more: “Dumbest name ever!” The commercial made waves nationally as well, literally, when it showed the Telluride – name emblazoned in block letters across the back – charging across a stream. Cynics pointed out the absurdity of such a stunt – no stock vehicle can do this without stalling. (On Kia’s behalf, it did issue a “DO NOT ATTEMPT” warning in extremely fine print.)

But not all were filled with horror and disgust. One local dubbed it the “Best entertainment in (the) Super Bowl,” and another wondered if, like the denizens of its namesake, the Telluride came with a built-in vaporizer.

Alas, if the town was hoping to get royalties from the ad to fix its potholes, as one local wondered, they’re in for a bumpy road. Michael Martelon, of the Telluride Tourism Board, told the Daily Planet, that unfortunately, geographical locations cannot be trademarked.

James Hope, manager of communications for Kia America, told the Planet, “The basic idea was to design an SUV whose purpose would be driving to a ski resort, that the owners .. would need to haul their friends and all their gear to the mountains and would need 4WD,” he said. The car’s designer looked at a map of ski resorts to research names and talked to a cousin in Crested Butte. “That’s how he came across Telluride ... he loved the fact that the word ‘ride’ is part of it,” Hope said.

The vehicle will hit showrooms – and Carhenge and Coonskin lots – next year. It also comes with a Telluridesque price tag, topping out at $47,000. Telluridians will get a sneak peek when the SUVs prowl the town in mid-March during a special press preview. Alas, Kia either blew its wad on the $15 million Super Bowl spot, or even Telluride is too expensive for its automotive namesake. The unveiling will be down valley in the decidedly less glitzy locale of Gateway.

And Crested Butte, your day is coming.