Totally hosed

The Cult may have the “Love Removal Machine,” but for Durango, it’s all about the gum removal machine.

This week, the Business Improvement District announced its latest downtown beautification effort: operation gum removal. But not to worry, this won’t entail city workers and business owners getting on all fours with flathead screw-drivers and putty knives. Rather, BID has procured its very own, state-of-the-art Gum Busters machine (which happens to fit nicely in the ’80s theme.)

“For years we have discussed the challenge of removing gum from our sidewalks,” BID Director Tim Walsworth said, noting that not only does gum get stuck to shoes on hot days and create a gooey nightmare, but it absorbs dirt and soot, turning your once bright pink wad into an unsightly black blob. Not to mention it takes seven years to digest.

Enter Gum Busters – a mobile steam and scrubbing machine that scours gum with a special “gum busting” detergent. BID spent $10,000 on the miracle machine, with an additional $5,000 earmarked for ongoing supplies.

To see the buster in action, Walsworth himself will get the fun rolling this Thurs., April 27, from 9 a.m. – 12 noon in the 800 block of Main Avenue (arguably the most gum-infested block.)

The plan is to steadily clean downtown, including side streets and 2nd Avenue, ahead of the big Memorial Day Weekend tourist season-opener. Because of the noise of the generator, work will be done in the mornings, ideally before stores open.

Once the initial clearing is complete, “spot” maintenance should be a snap. And anyone caught spitting gum on the sidewalk will be publicly caned. Or at least forced to do some community service time with the Gum Buster.