An early bounty

I recently wrote an article, “Planting a Goal,” which laid out my plan to save up for a home by moving in with my parents. I hoped this saving process would be quick – taking maybe two years. But even with the savings I planned to accrue from staying with my parents, I knew I would need some help. After checking several mortgage assistance websites, I found a promising program offered to FLC employees through HomesFund.

Although this wouldn’t get me the plot of land where I envisioned living with friends and family, it would be the start of something! I marked down when to attend the next homebuyer education class and felt ready. However, it wasn’t until my entire homeowning timeline was fast-forwarded that I realized I hadn’t given myself time to process what it may mean to own a home.

When I say this, I’m not necessarily referring to the maintenance or overhead cost of owning. I know things may break, crack or burst. As a renter for my entire time in Durango, I have not been envious of some of the projects that befell my landlords. What I’m referring to is this question: Can homeowning be equitable? When finances are considered, does the ratio of the mortgage, utilities and maintenance paid by each person determine that person’s value to the home? How does the bank, or us for that matter, put a value on what each person brings to the household beyond monetary means? Family is not constructed through money alone.

One of my close friends, who I envisioned living on my little plot of land with me, lost his father this past September. I first met his father in the summer of 2014 while he was visiting for a couple of months. His stay lasted through the year, and he was able to join us at my mother’s house to ring in the new year.

Years later, we drove to his home in Minnesota, navigating the icy roads and herds of deer so we could join him for Christmas. My friend would head home during the summers or long holiday breaks, my sister twice joining. It was on one of my friend’s last trips back that his father mentioned that he really enjoyed the time that he visited back in 2014. He said that it was the friends he made that made it so memorable.

This provided a contrast to the societal norm that we can only get the greatest joy out of our partners or our children. What parts of our own joy might we be excluding ourselves from if we continue to believe that?

In October, my friend received his inheritance. Not long afterwards, he spoke with my family and I, asking if we wanted to search for a home together. We shared some links over Zillow, saving some while tossing others. We wanted a few acres of land and a house that was move-in ready.

We visited three homes the first day, guided by our fantastic realtor Tyler Frakes, and it was the second one that stood out. We quickly started envisioning what we might raise, grow and build there. We wondered how the land might heal us, and with the site of a former federal Indian boarding school not far away, how we might heal the land.

The only problem was, there was already a pending contract. There was still a possibility for that deal to not go through, and we hoped that would be the case. We crossed our fingers until, one day – the offer fell through! With the house now under contract with us, I know that our own offer may still fall through, but going through this process has helped me reevaluate what it means to equitably share a home.

Homes are not simply constructed by their square footage or their walls. They are constructed through mental support in tough times. They are constructed by the meals that are made and shared after a long day. They are constructed by the design imbued within the furniture, paint and linens. With the mixed household I intend to call home soon, I look forward to all those things and am grateful for every bit that led up to it.

– Doug Gonzalez