Planting a goal

It finally came via one of the projects that I started over the summer: a deep clean of my apartment. Over several weeks, I sorted through clothes that had long been saved in my storage and closet. I cleared out junk drawers and donated several boxes of items. I wanted to get my apartment back to a state that was less cluttered and more intentional, as if I had just moved in or was getting ready to move out. I wasn’t planning on heading anywhere, but I wanted to make the type of bold decisions that one makes when heading across town or state. Near the end of this organizational journey, my sister and I discussed our futures over a few beers at Steamworks.

In what felt like a stroke of genius, it seemed clear to me that all this cleaning was leading to the next step: moving in with my parents.

It felt strange to consider this step back into my parent’s home as a step forward into my future. Growing up in the ’90s and 2000s, leaving home after graduating high school was part of becoming an adult; the same as getting a license or a job. It was the cultural norm and a way to further practice one’s agency. However, the economic circumstances of my parents’ generation and my own have become vastly different. Low-cost homes and/or low inflation rates? I don’t know her.

According to a July article in Fortune magazine, the average homebuyer in the ’80s was in their late 20s. In 2024, the median age jumped up to 38 years old. They predict that the average Gen Z home buyer will be 50 years old when they purchase their first home.

After initially chatting with my sister, I thought, “Why not set my sights on a home?” I know that interest rates are relatively high, wildfires are driving up the cost of home insurance and markets may crash – but I’m hopeful! In what may be an uphill battle, owning a home has become a new goal of mine. It feels more important than ever to have a goal like this to fight the nihilism that may otherwise creep in.

One of the problems with this new goal was that I loved my apartment. This would have been my fifth year living in that space. It had a ton of natural light and was situated within walking distance of most of the businesses I frequented. And most importantly, I was comfortable. But one of Octavia Butler’s post-apocalyptic novels planted a seed in my thoughts that I should “prepare while comfortable.” At the moment, preparing looks like paying down debt and saving money. I’m planning for the savings to be put toward a home, but there can be any number of life events that may require a chunk of change at a moment’s notice.

What may be the biggest problem, however, is moving past the negative ideas of what it may mean for me to be a thirtysomething adult living with their parents. Does this choice negate the progress I’ve made toward independence? Does it qualify as a source of embarrassment? I don’t believe so.

By living with my parents, I get to see them more often than I have in the past few years. They spoil me with breakfast in the morning and save a plate for me in the fridge after an evening of work. The low-priced rent is an ideal and quick solution for saving. In fact, I feel that I will ultimately get to practice my agency more with these savings.

I am also beginning to sculpt a different idea of what it means to live on my own. Perhaps this looks like a plot of land with smaller residences inhabited with friends and family nearby. Whatever the situation, I know that it will be the result of preparation and time.

– Doug Gonzalez