Rainbow kitty litter surprise
Thoughts on a new kind of litter

Pretty Litter – a potty box alternative cat lovers can’t resist – promises to provide not only a snow white sanitary corner for your feline friend’s private moments. It also promises to “get your cat care before urgent medical attention is needed, saving you money, stress and potentially, your fur baby’s life.” It’s like a doctor asking you to pee in a cup, the kind of request any self-respecting cat would arch its back at and refuse. 

According to Honest Brand Reviews, inventor Daniel Rotman created Pretty Litter in 2015 after witnessing the preventable death of a loved pet. Will a company like Depend diapers be next, offering an innovation that’s more beneficial than just better absorbency? 

I can understand the complications involved with fabricating a layer of Pretty Litter in the lining of an adult diaper. Better clumping, less dust and more effective odor-control serve as the advertised advantages when Pretty Litter compares itself with the performance of other cat litters. But is it possible that human beings could eventually depend on a practical rainbow left like a diagnostic pot of gold at the bottom of a disposable diaper?

Perhaps I should take a step back before exposing anyone to my concept of “Pretty Diapers,” because pet owners without cats may not realize these animals do their business in a litter box located in some discrete corner of the house, not on the sidewalk while being taken for a walk. But thank you, responsible dog owners, who pick up after their dogs, and let me add that it’s also refreshing when responsible cat hosts clean the litter box in a timely fashion before the pungent odor of cat urine assaults guests entering the house with a wave of nausea and dizziness. 

The science of Pretty Litter may help clarify my vision for diaper innovation. Essentially, four colors are currently important, and cat hosts should recognize what their appearance in the potty box denotes. Blue means a possible urinary tract infection or even bladder stones. Orange/yellow suggests an issue with acidity, like metabolic acidosis or a kidney infection. Red is a warning flag fluttering over the likelihood that blood is present. When dark yellow/olive green is present, the kitty is normal.

I’d like to think it’s reasonable that many of us, whether raising infants or caring for elderly parents – or even tidying up after ourselves – with conditions like incontinence or leakage, should be concerned about our own health. According to health experts, we ought to be drinking a recommended 8-15 glasses of water each day. A product like “Pretty Diapers” might put the gladder back into our bladders. 

Many people I know prefer to keep their discomforts and bouts with affliction to themselves, taking the time to visit a doctor’s office only when they feel a little punky. Being prescribed an aspirin and a reminder to stay hydrated can be just as frustrating as waking up every morning to find the cat has left another dead mouse at the foot of the bed. 

Detractors may claim a major drawback for monitoring our own health by using the cat litter model for my “Pretty Diapers” approach is that the FDA will surely have something to say. Just like prescriptions, Pretty Litter is NOT available over the counter. A cat owner must use the company’s subscription service. Each $22 bag supposedly lasts a month. Multiple cats require additional bags, so just me and my mate, for instance, would have to dig out an annual $480 from our wallet, a place where cash doesn’t tend to clump.  

In the end, it’s all about money. Just reading the FAQs on Pretty Litter’s website is enough to quash anyone’s entrepreneurial spirit, maybe even saving me a fortune on attorney fees when the first assisted living facility sues my ass! 

Can you flush Pretty Litter?

“For proper disposal, flush your pet’s solid waste down the toilet and then throw the litter into your usual trash.”

I’m just imagining how Charmin Ultra Soft would answer the same question. 

Is Pretty Litter toxic?

“...(it) won’t have a significant effect on your pets’ bowels if they accidentally eat it.” 

Now I’m trying NOT to imagine anything.

If you’re beginning to feel like a skeptical reader, consider this final FAQ.

What is Pretty Litter’s return policy?

“Your first bag of Pretty Litter is risk-free. That means your cat can test it out for 30 days and if you’re not satisfied with the results, simply send it back for a full refund.”

Really? After 30 days? Nobody, not even the Telegraph, wants to open a 6-pound package of dissatisfaction. 

Instead of writing letters to the editor to express your disgust, maybe just flip to the next page.

– David Feela