Where is the wuv?

Many people are not talking these days, refusing to show up for a heartfelt discussion, even when it comes to expressing their most intimate secrets. 

As a baby boomer, I remember Vietnam war protests, Woodstock, free love, marijuana and even LSD. Supposedly, everyone was doing it, and maybe all of it at the same time. Our parents swore they’d never seen the likes of this behavior. Now the religious right along with some of the Republican Party wants to settle on a policy of legislating what the public should and should not be able to decide for itself. 

Things have changed. It’s all about making laws that don’t involve much love.

“Litigants 1 & 2, do you take each other to be legally contracted partners, to have and tentatively hold each other accountable in all financial and emotional disagreements from this day forward?”

“We do.”

“By the power vested in me before these assembled potential witnesses, I pronounce you legally bound individuals in all future outcomes and offspring of this arrangement.”

Thankfully I can still hear a little bit of actor Peter Cook’s 1987 “Princess Bride” performance declaring, “Marwage, that bwessed awangement ... .” 

A 2023 NPR interview on one unmarried woman’s complaint about relationships went like this: “I have my towels on the rack situated a certain way and my perfume bottles and everything. And when they come over ... like, the relationships I’ve had recently ... I’ll come into my bathroom after they’ve left, and it’s like, what happened in here? Like… my little Chanel towel ... is on the sink. And I’m like, ‘Oh, God.’” 

I swear I’m not making this up. What used to be thought sacred, like vows, prayers, promises and handshakes, must be approached more carefully. It could be we all feel like ceremonial witnesses who may be required to appear in court. 

“Do you remember where the groom’s hands were just before the couple cut the wedding cake?” 

“Well, maybe somewhere behind the bride, like near her waist or back or shoulder?”

“So you’re not sure?”

“I don’t exactly remember, I must have been paying attention to the cake.”

“Do you remember who received the first piece?”

“I know it wasn’t me.” 

“Then one hand might have been on her butt”

“It could have been.”

The National Association for Presiding Judges and Court Executive Officers suggests values are a quality “hard to define but important to possess ... individuals are often unsure about what constitutes a value (and) we have found that people don’t spend much time thinking about what they stand for unless they face a crisis.”

Ethical beliefs, like a compass, guide our personal choices, but increasingly we seem to require a judge and jury to weigh our most basic decisions.

“Is that a canker sore on your lip?”

“No, it’s a wart. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

“Were you thinking about kissing me?”

“Kissing you? Don’t be ridiculous!”

“You’re probably worried about STDs.”

“I was not worried, I was concerned it hurt.” 

“Canker sores are not contagious.”

“I didn’t know that, but I really don’t care.”

“It’s the warts that can be transferred.”

“You ought to get it taken care of.”

“Actually, it’s just a canker sore. Eventually it’ll go away.” 

“Then why did you tell me it was a wart?”

“I wanted you to think I was a prince.”

“That’s the worst come-on I’ve ever heard.”

“So kissing is out of the question?”

“Kissing was never part of the question.”

“A handshake?”

“No, that’s my Parkinson’s.” 

Maybe it’s not the Bible but the Beatles who best explain what we need to know. 

There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known.

Nothing you can see that isn’t shown.

Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be. 

It’s easy.

All you need is love.